The Accident

I was just lying there, spread eagle, in the middle of it all. The air smelled slightly like freshly cut grass and fishballs. I felt free and unrestricted. I was thinking. About a lot of things. Almost without thinking, I crossed my arms to the back of my head. I gazed up at the lazy sky dotted with popcorn clouds. It's definitely a nice day, I thought.

On any other normal day, I'd have my iPod Mini blaring out tunes. Sort of like the background music to my life, if it were a movie. If my iPod weren't already dead, I'd have it on my 'Mellow Yellow' playlist. Everything seemed the be yellow like how old movies are, I thought. Everything seemed so slow, and classy -- and ultimately, nostalgic. The campus was relatively silent. While everyone else had classes, I had a three hour break to battle. I was on the first hour.

The silence of not having anything in particular to listen to was becoming overwhelming. What I realized was sometimes it's pretty dangerous to be alone with nothing but your thoughts. Oh, the things you get to think of! It was basically limitless. What exactly was I thinking of? Well, I don't really know. You know how things come and go in a moment? Well, that's how it was. It was a blur of thoughts that came and went like cars on a freeway. I thought: there's bound to be an accident somewhere, sometime. I was at 180 kph, and ahead of me was a vast expanse of road. I thought: oh no, how do I ever stop? I couldn't. I couldn't stop. The thing is, one can never really stop their thoughts. What I realized is that, one can just really ever stall them.

And in that particular moment, nothing was the same. All those thoughts I've stalled in the past came at me. Cars on a freeway. A thousand fucking cars on a freeway. I said, there's bound to be an accident somewhere, sometime. And here it was. And in that particular moment, nothing was ever the same. I stopped escaping from my thoughts. I accepted them. One by one. And nothing was the same.