At Peace

I know I always write about the most negative of things. I am, of course, never at the brink of "about to kill myself." Maybe metaphorically, but I guess I'll never be brave/cowardly enough to do it. I can still appreciate the nice things in life. Like right now, I feel complete. And the world is just fantastic. I'm in the room and it's cool, with the A/C on. It's dark, but not so much. The room is just nicely lit by my laptop's glare. Music is softly playing, and not in the background (it's more foreground than background, really). I finished my homework before 8 (I usually start at 8.) I am wearing my favorite house clothes (a Pokemon shirt and some pair of shorts). Everything is just nice. Moments like these come by so rarely (and go so quickly). I mean, when I am at peace with myself and the world.

I suddenly feel like searching for something uniquely mine. Something that is bigger than me (aside, of course, from my faith), perhaps. You know, like how them soccer players have soccer and how Van Gogh had painting and how you have air and I... I want to find that for me. Everyone has that (but not necessarily now). I realized my life is just not about the career I choose. I've been stressing so much about how misplaced I was. I don't want my life to be ever defined by career. I want it to be defined by people and places, experiences and moments, food and exhaustion (sometimes), books and movies. Those things.